I Can Change Myself…REALLY!

I’m of a mind that nothing stands between me and what I want except for the fear it may not work or change things so drastically that I’ll be “sorry”…so I decided to change my perception.  I realized that the experience of trying and dealing with anything that could happen sure beats the feeling of never going for it and wishing that I did.  So now when I feel less than worthy, feel nervous, feel unsure, I transmute that energy and thinking to…What can I do to make this an opportunity for something I REALLY want!    This has gotten me through many things that I (and others) have perceived as devastating or situations that were hurtful at the time.  Another thing, for me that is important, is to give myself time to process these devastating, hurtful, unexpected changes (which come to everyone).  I changed myself and perceive the best outcome for everyone (myself included), this has never let me down.

Hope that makes sense and that in some way it can help you too!

I AM

I AM AS I UNDERSTAND.

Coincidence or Divine?

If I hear the same things I’m thinking/pondering echo back to me through other people, dreams and current situations … coincidence or divine?

God is Good. God is Great.

God is so great, so much more than we can understand.  I believe God is more than any religion or book.  God can speak to each of us as individuals in ways that are completely unique to each of us.  This Greatness cannot be hidden or restrained nor is it healthy for us to block God.  I have found that learning to open up to God through stopping all the chatter and getting to know ourselves and our very unique and individual relationship with God is one of the keys to long lasting happiness.

My life has changed profoundly since my last posts.  In ways I would have never imagined.  Yet it was through this blog that I began to open up, share and sought to understand how life could truly be.  Have there been rough patches…yes.  Actually I have gone through and am in what some would call “the hard row” or others would say difficult and yet I am calm, centered and truly happy because I was blessed enough to decide to stop seeking and find out about me and my blessed relationship with the Creator. 

A Creator that is so great that I get to co-create, the Creator that is so great that I was free to choose, the Creator that is so amazing that I get to decide about our relationship.  I have the freedom to be creative in the ways we get to communicate with each other and that I can have the awesome mysteries of life open up right before me.  I’ve learned I have all I will ever need with patience and gratitude.  So simple and so complex…WOW!  Thanks God!

 

Happy Independence Day – Let Freedom Ring!

Would you please tell us something about you and your site?

My site is The Canvas Grey. (www.thecanvasgrey.wordpress.com) The name was inspired by a dream.  I believe I was healed by God and wanted to let as many people know for His Glory.  It is difficult to imagine that I could ever, ever talk about it enough or be thankful enough.  So I blog about my experiences, both success and failure, to help others who may find themselves needing more information, guidance or just a laugh.   

God is so great, so much more than we can understand.  I believe He is more than any religion or book and He can speak to each of us as individuals in ways that are completely unique to each of us.  His Greatness cannot be hidden or bound.

Do you feel that you continue to grow in your writing the longer you write? Why is that important to you?
I haven’t thought much about whether I’ve grown as a writer or that it was important to me.  I mostly feel compelled to write about something and then set about doing it.  There is no doubt that some of my posts are inspired and they are easy to see; my journey of learning, plowing around the stump for examples.  I’m a deep thinker and when God gives me insight I want to share that for others to let God work through it if He desires to do so.

I’m wondering what some of your memorable experiences are with blogging?
My memorable experiences are all about the inspiration and compelled writing plus the interaction with others.

What do you think is the most exciting or most innovative use of technology in politics right now?
Using the internet to get passed the two minute sound bites that the main media WANT us to see or hear.  I want to know in-depth information about past, present and plans for the future on all the political players.  I think the internet should remain uncensored and ungoverned to allow real freedom of speech and exchange of ideas.

Do you think that these new technologies are effective in making people more responsive?
I think more people feel free to express themselves and have a place to say what they want and exchange ideas, thoughts, experiences, etc.  I think more than that the internet provides a platform for anyone who can get to the internet to tell their story or a story they believe is important AND to tell it without edit or censorship.

What do you think sets Your site apart from others?
I am a unique individual that has much in common with other unique individuals.

If you could choose one characteristic you have that brought you success in life, what would it be?
Believing the best of intentions from others and yourself.

What was the happiest and gloomiest moment of your life?
I speak of this in my Journey of Learning at my blog as they are both on the day I was healed.

Do you think [the use of Twitter and other social networking tools by politicians] is bandwagon jumping or what?
I have to say a direct YES to this question.  Unfortunately politicians seem to be nothing more than advertisers trying to grasp at every last pair of eyes and ears no matter what it takes or what avenue pop culture would have them travel.  That does NOT speak to me as “being a leader” but more as a follower of trends. 

If you could pick a travel destination, anywhere in the world, with no worries about how it’s paid for – what would your top 3 choices be?
Alaska, South America, Europe and the rest of the world, then the moon, planets, other galaxies and beyond.

What is your favorite book and why?
There is no way I could ever pick a favorite book or favorite anything.  How could I pick just one of anything when God has made/inspired so much.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person (whether you know them or not)?
Their expression.

Is there anyone from your past that once told you you couldn’t write?
No.  I was told at a young age by a teacher that I wasn’t an artist.  But she was wrong.

How bloggers can benefit from blogs financially?
I think others could answer this much better than I.

Is it true that who has a successful blog has an awful lot of time on their hands?
If research is required or one keeps up a post a day (or more) then blogging can become time consuming.  I imagine the most successful blogs (that are more than pictures) are very time consuming as they must keep readers coming back AND attracting new readers.

What are your thoughts on corporate blogs and what do you think the biggest advantages and disadvantages are?
It would depend upon the size but by far the biggest advantages for corporate blogs would be communications…easy, fast, far reaching; the disadvantage would be cumbersome, too many responses or ideas or the need to dedicate one person to the blog.

What role can bloggers of the world play to make this world more friendlier and less hostile?
Communicating with each other expecting, projecting the best intentions.  I think we as human beings will find that no matter what part of the world we live in the we are more alike than different; to make a way in this world for our family and friends to be together and rejoice in our love for one another and God.  We share a marvelous place in the universe and it is a privilege to share it together.

Who are your top five favourite bloggers?
I really don’t mean to be obnoxious I just can’t pick favorites.  There are just too many favorites to list in just five. 

Is there one observation or column or post that has gotten the most powerful reaction from people?
There are several but if you are interested to know which is the most read it would be about my experience in a multi-level-marketing company.  Closely followed by my experience discovering that depression and low iron (anemia) have very similar symptoms.

What is your perception about Pakistan and its people?
I have a perception of the country and then my experience of the people here in the United States.  Since most of the perceptions are via people who have agendas (the media, the politicians, etc.) I base my facts on my own interactions.  I must say that I’ve found people of/from Pakistan to be more like me than different.  I also must tell you that one of my doctors is from Pakistan.  He is a doctor who I can say truly listens to me, treats me with great kindness and respect.  I pray for him to be happy as he is truly a great man in my eyes.

Have you ever become stunned by the uniqueness of any blogger?
Twice I could use the word stunned to describe my reaction to reading a blog and been interested reading/trying to understand them/their writings more in depth.  Disgusted is a word I’ve experienced more often than stunned.  BY FAR I’ve had completely positive experiences in blogging and reading other blogs.

What is the most striking difference between a developed country and a developing country?
The amount of food, clothing, shelter and ways to make a life for a family.

What is the future of blogging?
My guess is it will stay the same for quite some time.

You have also got a blogging life, how has it directly affected both your personal and professional life?
There have been positive; expression, helping others, learning new things, connecting with others AND negative; some time away from family and other projects yet who doesn’t need a break every now and again?  🙂  Mostly I see the good of it when balanced.

What are your future plans?
To continue to seek what God has for me and my family because I know it is beyond my dreams, as He shows me consistently.  I plan to write more about that and to create a history of thought and pictures and understanding within my family, friends and others who touch my life as I touch their life.

Any Message you want to give to the readers of The Pakistani Spectator?
I can only see good from reaching out to one another in peace, understanding and our common bonds as people who are blessed to share the earth at the same time.  I believe that different cultures and diversity is a great thing in life.  We can  throw off hatred, apathy and indifference to enjoy one another.  Peace and happiness to you as you read.

A Proposal

Let’s do away with the phrase:

GO F* Yourself

And all it’s glorious versions.

I propose we say:

Go Fulfill Yourself!

It sounds much nicer and is really much tougher to do.

😉

Shh

The Grand Scheme of Things

Oh Mother of God! Oops…will I get in trouble for that funny???? Did God make humor? The details of it all, the fighting over the details. Find it funny…laugh, find it offensive… move on. There is a HUGE space out there and NO ONE can wrap their head around it all. Take the good where you get it and be happy. Take that good and help OTHERS be happy (WIN-WIN). Are there books that are inspired by God, yes…every word…doubtful. Religion is inspired by God and man handled. This too is one opinion, from one unique individual to other unique individuals with much in common. Peace!

Walking with God…He teaches me to…

Spend time in love!
Walk in GRACE!
Lead with compassion!
Follow with humility!

When Weary

A recent, follow-up colonoscopy and more surgery by the same doctor that found the bone tumor two years ago (see Journey of Learning first tab) reveals need for another surgery. This time a wonderful surgeon I met with here locally will be removing 3 to 5 inches of small intestine and 1/3 of my large intestine along with surround lymph nodes. Things will still work the same, I’ll just be a little lighter; this is a bad way to lose weight! Ha!

A dear friend of mine has been through quite a lot herself and she sent me an email about being weary. I’ve included an excerpt from the email because I believe it was inspired by God for comfort for anyone who reads it. Because I do feel a little weary; then I remember that we all have our life journey, we all have a different and deeply personal experience with God. It is our choice, complete freedom of choice and if that doesn’t speak volumes about our God then I couldn’t imagine what would, He loves us that much.

May God’s will be done! Excerpt:

I know what you mean about becoming weary and this is when we will lean on God because He is our true strength. God can perform miracles when we let go and let God. I know that no matter what happens we can overcome it to His Glory and for His purpose. I’m not afraid but I’m not ready to part this place just yet. I still believe there is great work to be done by you and me and others like us. We are in the world but not of it. That can be so very hard. It can be burdensome to be strong all the time. Even Jesus felt the burden and didn’t understand. We are human and don’t understand it all but we do know the wonder of God…how awesome is that? How awesome to KNOW GOD!!!! WOW! Getting tears in my eyes, if we even thought about it very long we would be on our faces night and day in awe and praise. We could be that humble about it all but we are so blessed to be able to live and walk in Him. So that His work can be done as He calls us to do it.

I’m just glad He calls me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For Terror or Worse…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blBohrmyo-I

I don’t mind someone running my name through a computer to see if I’m a terrorist…a murderer… or anything else illegal…unless…it is illegal to speak out about something…long pause

But after reports that Google and many other search engines keep all data and searches… Facebook wanting to keep all my information even if I delete my stuff…Facebook actually deleting an unfavorable comment I made last week….finding those New World Order videos just the other day (out of the blue…NOT looking for them), the constant yakity yak about globalization and now a benign referral to this video…it really makes one pause and wonder…

WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE HEADED?

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE tech!  I think this is remarkable technology and can be used to all kinds of good.  If only we could trust one another, ah yes, the ever elusive Utopia.

Databases…data being held about you from the time of your birth, where you are, etc. have been in existence for a long time…HOWEVER…it is getting easier, more people are selling their “proverbial souls” for the love and greed of money or power… AND (it is a big and too) “we the people” are sleeping…soundly, passively in our peaceful little worlds…it has happened before… more than once… recently… I pray it doesn’t happen again.  Then I realize I live in reality.

I’m truly not trying to be a fear-monger, the media does that well enough.  However, it isn’t like I’m out there looking for this stuff.   It comes to me, I share what I believe I’m to share.  Peace, love and joy to you.

RAnDom ThOUgHt

Oh Tae…here is a thought:

 

The “ME” generation turned their kids into the “WE” socialist generation so the “ME” generation could do anything they wanted to do and then the “ME” generation would be taken care of by the “We” generation.

 

 

 

Wow!

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most 
public schools anymore and because the word ‘God’ is mentioned… 
A 15 year old kid in Arizona wrote:

 

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school 
Where praying is against the rule 
For this great nation under God 
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights. 
And anytime my head I bow 
Becomes a Federal matter now. 

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, 
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene. 
The law is specific, the law is precise. 
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.  

For praying in a public hall 
Might offend someone with no faith at all 
In silence alone we must meditate, 
God’s name is prohibited by the state. 

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, 
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.. 
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. 
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, 
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King. 
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong, 
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls, 
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. 
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, 
No word of God must reach this crowd.  

It’s scary here I must confess, 
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess. 
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: 
Should I be shot; My soul please take! 
Amen

 

 

 

 

Hey Media, what does this mean…exactly?

It seems we’ve been upgrading computers and machines and downgrading our humanity and individuality for so long it is hard to spot until the finger is pointed at us.

Could any of us take the scrutiny that so many take in the media these days? 

From a mother disciplining her child in what she thought was private; to whether a FEMALE candidate should have her young family with her; to a mother so divided between so many duties, wife, mother, housekeeper, executive that she would forget her own newborn, these are ordinary people thrust into the limelight.  Being judged as if there was no humanity and that they should have never made a mistake or done that, shame on them.

Have you compared them with the Hollywood elite that all the media root for to do better, Brittany, Paris, Lindsey?  Seems they can make repeated mistakes, vowing to do something better with their lives and…well, you know the rest…they are rubber and we are glue.

Feel left out as an ordinary person?  What if it happened to you?  Which category would you fall into? 

It makes one wonder if “us worker bees” are being set up to work as computers with nary a mistake to be made and those that are deemed by the media as “queen bees” get passes for being “human.” 

Makes a difference as to how the media depits it all, doesn’t it?  Bias in the media?  Oh come on…they are all fair and balanced.

So which island will you land on?   THE ISLAND

Waves

What washes against your shore?

We send out waves every day, we also get hit by waves every day.

If money is stolen from a bank (doesn’t have to be a bank, it can be any large “this isn’t going to hurt anyone” place) and then the person who stole it buys some clothes for their family.  One wave washes over the owner of the clothing store in a positive way and then that money is used as it goes through a regular cycle of spending, investment, etc.  But what about the wave that is sent from stealing the money where does it go and what shore does it land on?

 

Instincts

 

AND NOW…FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

It puzzles me that so many great minds of the last century (and many now) think we can decode the cosmos and laws of nature.  They seem to think, if it can’t be defined by physics or the “sciences” then by jingies it just CAN’T be.  NOOOO, we sure can’t disect those touchie, feelie things.  We’ve got to hold those things back with a ten foot pole because that can’t possibly be where our evolution is taking us. 

***LONG PAUSE***  😉

Such smart, unopened minds that won’t allow room for God, spirit or being “in tune” with one another…call me a flake, I think they aren’t as smart as they think they are!  We are connected by God, instincts, our souls, mystical awareness or what ever one would call it.  I believe it is real and can be found by anyone seeking to connect.  After all we still except the deep rooted, “fight or flight” instinct, few would dispute we have survival instincts, however many doubt and nullify our spirit, unconditional love, telepathy or psychic ability altogether.  

It is as if we all must first experience something to believe or fully understand. 

Learning to have faith, learning to trust God and our “instincts” and the patience to withstand the wait of when we get to know the answers takes real faith.  To me, real faith means doing something that you believe God wants you to do or you are supposed to do even when you are scared, tired, lazy, depressed, lack funds, are doubtful,  are distracted, afraid it looks/sounds strange to others, worried about how others judge you, when it is difficult.

*******************************

Hope you all know I write these for myself, sorry to be so selfish but I’m sharing hoping it will help you.  Many times this is how God “talks” to me.  Even if I can’t understand it right now, maybe I will when He needs me to do so. 

Note to blogger buddies:  I ask you to say a prayer for my Dad.  I know you will so thanks.   Several things are pressing down hard and my time is little of late.  I’ll check in as I can with you all and hope to be back to finish our Difference story soon.  Peace and love from me to you, Debi

 

photo by bonnieanddan

The Church of Oprah

THE CHURCH OF OPRAH

If you haven’t seen this yet, it is worth a peek. 

I’m going to discuss the content of what Oprah and Tolle are talking about and the “new age” religion (and that is what it will become despite other intentions).

People who do so well for themselves in “this world” terms have a very difficult time dealing with it.  Winfrey has looked to Tolle (for now) because he is telling her what she wants to hear or believe…or feel (whatever term they want to use). 

It is difficult for people like Tolle and Winfrey to imagine that this in itself is ideology and easily could produce a “religion.”  They are searching and believe they’ve found the “answer” to it all.

My questions; What if an inner spirit wants to be negative, hurt people, hurt the people who support the church of Oprah for example.  Is that okay if the inner self wants to do negative works or negative things?  This is where it comes back to “I Universe” junk or new age “that I am in control of everything around me” and in my life.  WHAT? 

I’m sure we don’t all believe the same even if we all went to the same church, synagogue, temple, mosque, cathedral, etc.  Since we all have free-will and make a choice to either listen or ignore God then YES, we do make our own beds in many ways; however one cannot control the missed path of another who decides to drink and then drive their vehicle into an innocent.  THAT certainly didn’t get planned in most days; it is a consequence of an action.

Which brings me to something else…we are NOT machines.  It seems that scientists, physicists, mathematicians, even some physicians try to break humans down into these systematic beings.  Some I’ve heard think at some point we will be able to describe and explain everything through math and physics.  HAAAAAAAA!  Got to laugh at that one.  Because just when they get things so figured out…BAM!  They discover something they never saw or considered before. 

I’m all for trying to understand things and learning, discovering with awe and wonder, not with pompous, self-important, effacing purpose.

The truth is no one knows.  We believe we know, we feel we know, we think we know, we have faith but we don’t know.

THANKS and by the way…

First, thanks to all of you who’ve been keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  I really feel them in my heart and soul.  THANK YOU for them.  I really do sit in thoughtful prayer for you as well.  I’m a big giver so when I receive I tend to give back even more.  Your continued thoughts and prayers of support are very appreciated.  As we know more of the details I’ll share them.  Right now we are in a holding pattern but circling the airport.  ha!

I have several things that are pressing, several things that must come out, I’m compelled.

I’ve done a dozen or so posts on autism.  I think highly of so many bloggers who are autistic or parents of autistic children.  I respect them, their view of things, their frustration of things, their joy of things, their need to help others understand, agree, being able to learn and grow.  Just knowing how nice it is to reach out to each other when needed is a wonderful thing. 

In this age of “bi-polar-isms” I refuse to define my precious, sweet son by autism, nor will I.  He is smart, loving, handsome like his dad (of course), very tall, a reader, into astrology, a thinker, a dreamer, he hums happy tunes, still likes to skip (me too…like Phoebe from friends), likes routine (like his dad), sounds just like his brother (vice-versa) when he talks, has an amazing memory, adores his third grade teacher, can easily entertain himself, becomes deeply involved with things he enjoys, can’t concentrate on things he doesn’t and more, more, more.

So what am I getting at???  I’ve been holding my son’s story close (odd because I share so easily) but I’m nervous it will define him.  Or WORSE, that HE thinks that is how I define HIM.

God has been pushing gently at me from many directions and I had my AHA moment this morning, NO FEAR.  I now know I’m to post it, I’m compelled to post it.  In faith I will post it and pray that it reaches those that it is supposed to reach and help.  In faith I will post it believing that my son will KNOW that autism is only a small sliver of who he is, something to help him in his life’s journey and that I love him more than words.  Amen.  Thank you God for love, mercy, all things seen and unseen.

 

OOPS!

I just found a new favorite place!  Post was changed…so it isn’t your eyes, it was me.

 Okay, I admit it….I didn’t scroll down far enough or look hard enough…ick. 

I saw some Coexist stickers and “Ask your doctor if medical advise from a TV is right for you.”  

That one got my attention and funny bone.

I had no idea of the political slant at the bottom

I still love the thought of being a peacemonger.

Just not from that direction. 

 PEACE!

 

 

Mega Churches, What have they become?

Mega church, I used to think, was a place where some real people were worshiping God and helping each other understand how to make it in the world that we are IN but not OF. 

After all the commotion in the 1980s with the “mega” stars of church, scandals, backstabbing, (all of which I saw at a local level too) I was so turned off I left churches completely.  I retrieved into my spirit, looking to God to guide me.  Yes, I did (still do) lean upon my own understanding with an open mind as to others thoughts and feelings on matters of the spirit and other things then I look to God to show me.  After all, HE knows me BEST. 

Milkinthecloset re-introduced me to what is going on in mega churches.  During Christmas I saw on TV a man defending why his mega church had such elaborate stage shows.  They explained that the shows raise millions and cost about one million to be put together.  Let’s call it as it is, these are Broadway shows with a religious twist.  People go to those churches so they or family can be on stage and use it for a resume.  Okay, not ALL of them, some of them just want some entertainment in a religious setting.

It’s like, God isn’t big enough (have you seen the structure of a seed that grows into a huge tree, the Andromeda galaxy, your unique fingerprint?), we need to make Him “viable” to today’s “entertain me” world. 

Think the stage isn’t set?  Seems very easy for me to see His Son walking into a mega church saying the same thing He did more than 2000 years ago when He walked in a synagogue. 

Things that make me go hmm!

Call me a skeptic or maybe that just isn’t the life for me.  If and when I’m called back to a church I seriously doubt it will be a mega church.  But then again God may call me to be an undercover spy. 

Rhetoric Pushers, Hate Mongers, Spinmiesters…

yes and a happy day after Easter to you too!  😉

But then when is there a good time to bring up difficult dialogue, difficult questions or just thinking about what comes next… 

Recently I received an email entitled:  CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS? 

Along with a message:

I have several Muslim friends, and they are calm, peaceful, rational people with good values and good hearts, and yes they are good citizens of the USA. The tone of this email that is getting passed around reminds me of the type of ignorant hate speech that was spread about Jewish people in Nazi Germany. To try and judge an entire society of people and say they are not worthy to be Americans is insane, and I cannot be quiet about that fact. People should be treated as individuals. A small percentage of Muslims are violent criminals just as a small percentage of Christians are violent criminals. That is not reason to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Thanks for reading.

and:I agree with you 100%! Actions speak louder than words. Good people do good things MOST of the time, evil people do evil things MOST of the time and those that do nothing are indifferent. Those of us with minds to think, ears to hear and eyes to see know what truth is and one should not be judged by all and all should not be judged by one. What if the tables were turned and because one person that looked like you did harm to many, would that also make you the same as that person? Timothy McVey ring a bell? Love is the answer, my friend and we will keep fighting for it till the end (to quote a song). Good people together in a good country doing the best we can together!  I am a champion of LOVE! Some people who “don’t look like me” took EXCELLENT care of me last year during my hospital stay.

I cannot nor will I judge others by what someone else does ……

unless they align themselves with that person and support harm to others….uh oh!!!!

Does this mean that the majority of Americans are evil because they voted Bush into office for a second term?  Did he have all the information about Iraq?  Where WE mislead?  Did “we the people” make a mistake and re-elect Bush for a second term?  Can we forgive ourselves because we didn’t have all the information? 

Are we REALLY informed or just guessing about what really runs “the world order”? 

Are we really the horrible people that THE MEDIA says that the rest of the WORLD says we are?  Why do they do business with us if we are so terrible?  Why do all these countries accept loans, grants, monies from us on a government, corporate and individual levels?

Even after all this thinking I am still left to finish a puzzle with the last piece… how does one defend against evil people (singular or multiple)?

clip from lastraindance04