Perspective

Young son brings me some scribbles on a notebook paper and asks if it is a masterpiece. It hurt his feelings when I said no but I quickly explained to him why it wasn’t and what a masterpiece was and then he said, “Yeah mom, but God does make masterpieces.”

Bah Hum Bird!

So let me get this straight…I have to get up at 1am Thursday morning to start the big bird, go back to bed at 2am and then wake up on the hour to baste until 5am and then start preparing 20 side dishes, 2 pies, 2 cakes…all between one oven and a small microwave, set the table to look like something from Martha Stewart’s Living, look like I stepped out of Vogue as I serve it…then do two loads in the dishwasher whilst washing all the big stuff which puts me at about 1am Friday morning and then I’m supposed to get up at 4am and stand in line to shop in over crowded stores for bargains whilst everyone else watches football games and marathon TVLand episodes????

BAH HUM BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!

What I REALLY want is my own reality show just to get this documented!

Echolalia – A mystery solved.

Echolalia

From Encarta:  the compulsive repetition of words spoken by somebody else.

From Wiki:  Immediate echolalia causes the immediate repetition of a word or phrase. In some autistic and Asperger’s cases it may be a method of buying time to help process language. In an instance a child with autism is asked, “Do you want dinner?” the child echoes back “Do you want dinner?” followed by a pause and then a response, “Yes. What’s for dinner?”

From Alex:  It helps me be calm until I think of what is next and sometimes I’m excited so I say it.

I love my Alex! He helps me understand!

Wow!

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most 
public schools anymore and because the word ‘God’ is mentioned… 
A 15 year old kid in Arizona wrote:

 

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school 
Where praying is against the rule 
For this great nation under God 
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights. 
And anytime my head I bow 
Becomes a Federal matter now. 

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, 
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene. 
The law is specific, the law is precise. 
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.  

For praying in a public hall 
Might offend someone with no faith at all 
In silence alone we must meditate, 
God’s name is prohibited by the state. 

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, 
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.. 
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. 
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, 
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King. 
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong, 
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls, 
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. 
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, 
No word of God must reach this crowd.  

It’s scary here I must confess, 
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess. 
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: 
Should I be shot; My soul please take! 
Amen

 

 

 

 

FIVE-YEAR-OLD DEMANDS TO KNOW WHO THE NEW PRESIDENT IS!

“Who is the new president?” 

“Voting is tomorrow.”

“WHO is the NEW presadent, Mom?”

“We go vote tomorrow and after that we will know.”

“When are we going to know who ‘it’ is?”

“Maybe late tomorrow evening, after you are in bed.”

“I need to know who the new president is because voting is important.”

“Yes, it is very important.  That is why Daddy and I take you with us when we go.”

“WHO IS THE NEW PRESDADENT?”

“We will know sometime on Wednesday, MAYBE.  That is all the information I can give you about when we will know who the new president will be, Young Son.”

“Well, I need to know who the new presadent is Mom.”

Ya know who this exchange reminded me of?  The media.

Helping Inclusion Work FOR You

I read quite a few blogs.  I am trying to listen and speak  when God leads and to this post on the Autism Blog I felt I must write this:

I’ve found that it isn’t the school district but the individual school that determines a successful outcome.  My son was in his fourth elementary school by the time he was in the last part of kindergarten (he started at age three). 

I’ve always tried to work with teachers who seemed willing but the truth always came out when they were unhappy about inclusion.  All the moving around did hurt us a bit financially but I KNOW it has served my son well.  He is now included and accepted by the staff (teachers WANT him in their class), the kids and the community.  **a tear of joy**  It also benefits by being involved with the school through activities, PTA and community/neighborhood functions. 

I feel I must speak to the confrontational method of pursuit.  Especially for those who are in smaller communities, this just IS NOT going to work and your child will suffer for it (even more than you think they already are).  So be kind, treat people as you want to be treated, try their plan first (if compromising doesn’t work) and if it doesn’t work for your child, be kind when you make strong suggestions (possibly backed by the doctor) as to what you’ve found that works for your child and ask for changes. Be involved with showing how something isn’t or is working but give issues time to resolve on their own unless immediately detrimental.  

Confrontational tactics should ALWAYS be the very last resort.  I say this because I come across so very many well meaning parents who’ve pushed and shoved (those are the kids I’ve seen suffer the most). 

By being kind, I’m always asked to be on committees, attend functions to represent special needs, etc.  You know, flies and honey…THAT is where the REAL differences are made…having input from the get go.

Early on I had one principal come out and tell me at an IEP meeting that I needed to put my son in a different school.  I thanked her, and I did, it was more than clear my son wasn’t going to get the support he needed there. I was thankful for her honesty, it was the best thing that ever happened to my son.

Thanks Mom and Dad!

http://www.dailypress.com/news/opinion/dp-ed_suntopletter_0511may11,0,7289775.story

 

 

About Humans

I don’t pretend to be a doctor or anyone who knows all about things.  I do know one thing that bothers me about some doctors who try to break us down into systems or machines.  As if that is ALL we are as humans.  As if we can eventually explain everything in the human body (or the universe) in the same terms as a machine or a systematic number equation to the finite. 

When we decide to think that we know everything about how the brain, chemicals, genes, etc. relate to one another I wonder what we will use as the “model” machine?  And exactly which mechanic will you trust to give you a tune up?  What constitutes the tune up?  Maybe the sci-fi movies aren’t so far from reality if doctors think they really know it already.  We need the differences that we’ve developed. 

Don’t we NEED differences so that the things I’m not good at doing, someone else can do and vice versa. 

This is one small reason why I struggle about telling our story.  I really don’t see us as any different than any one else in life.  I love my son just as he is, I see my job as helping him to learn coping skills as opposed to changing him or his wonderful mind.  Most of the time my son is one of the happiest kids I’ve had the pleasure to be around.  

I’d written the previous before today (5-6-8).  I’m having difficulty sharing which is completely foreign to me.  But today I was blessed with a beautiful sight.  I had to share. 

As I walked to the school to register my son I saw five smiling, flapping boys come out of the building, one skipped, two others were talking in excited tones, one making happy sounds, another running toward the field.  I saw a tall slender man walking quickly behind them.  I smiled.  I smiled wide and long and looked at them; feeling their happiness, feeling their freedom,  feeling their joy at experiencing the day and a break from school work.  I thought of the teacher, the joy this can bring him too or the concern it could give as to later in the day lessons.  How blessed is this world for ALL these humans?  How blessed that they get to know the joy of the day?  How blessed I was to get to experience this joy from afar but with them? 

Thank God for the students, thank God for the teacher, thank God for the day, thank God for humans. 

Like Humans Do by David Byrne:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzmZXYKmTt0&feature=related

  

Living with a Difference – Sequence I

I invite you to read about our journey and learning experiences in hopes that it will help you or loved ones find themselves in similar situations.  I hope and pray that you find comfort, peace and the positive aspects that Living with a Difference intends.  I hope you I can tickle your funny bone along the way too!

I’ll be making the individual posts and then copy them here for the sake of continuity. 

Posting this for our love of God, standing in faith, praying this reaches those that need and seek His love and peace.

*******************************************

Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin, so why not begin with the beginning! 

 

The cast of characters:  My husband is Hungry Hubby, Big Boy is my oldest son, Young Son is yep and me, I’m Wailing Woman.  For more on how these names came about, click here.

 

 

LIVING WITH A DIFFERENCE – PEEING ON A STICK!

 

Peeing on a stick, how complicated could that be?  Well for one, I can’t quite pee the way the stick chick in the illustration does it.  Her stream looks to be one foot long and steady as she goes… mine…not so much.  

 

I first try my normal position with my legs at the ten and two position but that produces a shower.  So I rise to my gas station commando stance but I’ve already relieved too much and I’m chasing the small bursts with the stick until it seems completely wet.  Well that experience sure didn’t seem to be clear, it wasn’t blue nor was it easy. 

 

What?  Negative.  No, I just knew I was pregnant.  I felt it.  So I got a cup and peed into it (much easier for me) and dipped the second stick (the double pack was on sale).   J  Apparently the first stick didn’t get soaked with the hormone because this time it was CLEAR…I was pregnant!!!!!!

 

Hungry Husband and I can’t keep secrets very well.  Especially when the news is good so we drove to my parent’s house and then to his mom’s house spreading the glorious news.  After two years of trying we were going to have our first child. 

 

I felt pretty healthy during my pregnancy.  We got up nearly every week day and walked one to three miles before work.  I had quit smoking and popped the prenatals.  We continued to compete in CW dance competitions until I was at the fifth month.  At 39, I still felt WAS young even though I was officially in the “at risk” zone of having a child.  I enjoyed the pregnancy and marveled how my body changed.  The doctor gave me a leave of absence five weeks before my due date because of swelling but apparently I didn’t have preeclampsia. 

 

Fast forward two weeks, my water breaks, emergency C section because he was big and breach.  “I see a boy butt,” the nurse exclaimed.  We were elated!  We missed the low Apgar numbers being tossed across the room.  But the numbers were always going up and eventually everyone was happy.   He peed on one nurse and she jokingly lamented about being peed on.  She even wrote about it on the Apgar card (a souvenir).  Aren’t we the lucky ones, to know he took his first whiz at 11:04 pm on his birthday!?!?!  Now HE would be showing ME how to pee in a stream and hit the target!

 

THANKS and by the way…

First, thanks to all of you who’ve been keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  I really feel them in my heart and soul.  THANK YOU for them.  I really do sit in thoughtful prayer for you as well.  I’m a big giver so when I receive I tend to give back even more.  Your continued thoughts and prayers of support are very appreciated.  As we know more of the details I’ll share them.  Right now we are in a holding pattern but circling the airport.  ha!

I have several things that are pressing, several things that must come out, I’m compelled.

I’ve done a dozen or so posts on autism.  I think highly of so many bloggers who are autistic or parents of autistic children.  I respect them, their view of things, their frustration of things, their joy of things, their need to help others understand, agree, being able to learn and grow.  Just knowing how nice it is to reach out to each other when needed is a wonderful thing. 

In this age of “bi-polar-isms” I refuse to define my precious, sweet son by autism, nor will I.  He is smart, loving, handsome like his dad (of course), very tall, a reader, into astrology, a thinker, a dreamer, he hums happy tunes, still likes to skip (me too…like Phoebe from friends), likes routine (like his dad), sounds just like his brother (vice-versa) when he talks, has an amazing memory, adores his third grade teacher, can easily entertain himself, becomes deeply involved with things he enjoys, can’t concentrate on things he doesn’t and more, more, more.

So what am I getting at???  I’ve been holding my son’s story close (odd because I share so easily) but I’m nervous it will define him.  Or WORSE, that HE thinks that is how I define HIM.

God has been pushing gently at me from many directions and I had my AHA moment this morning, NO FEAR.  I now know I’m to post it, I’m compelled to post it.  In faith I will post it and pray that it reaches those that it is supposed to reach and help.  In faith I will post it believing that my son will KNOW that autism is only a small sliver of who he is, something to help him in his life’s journey and that I love him more than words.  Amen.  Thank you God for love, mercy, all things seen and unseen.

 

The Age of Autism

 

Nicole Beurkens the Director of Horizons Developmental Remediation Center in Michigan asked me to mention that during the month of April for every new person who signs up for a free newsletter at www.horizonsautism.com  her clinic will make a donation to a scholarship fund for parents who require financial assistance to access treatment. 

I do this as an informational service and to be helpful, not as a recommendation.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND any individual treatment, place, etc.  I do have links to a variety of autism websites for informational purposes. 

I think each child and family are unique and could benefit from any number of people, places and programs. 

I recommend:

     education, read as much as you can as quickly as you can about similar situations.

     early intervention if possible but it is NEVER too late!

     deep breathing, for you, your child, your family, it helps!

     at least a consultation with a neurodevelopmentalist.

     one way all the way isn’t necessarily THE way, try lots of things to see what works for YOU!

     read, reach out to others, use their experience to help yourself and your family (use ME)! 

This is by far my favorite definition of autism because I find it the truth.

Always

Unique

Totally

Interesting

Sometimes

Mysterious 

 Above all, love is love is love.  Everyone has difficulties in life we can rejoice about them and how we are different or lament about it.  I ALWAYS choose to rejoice because I’m never bored, there is always something to do or learn.  Thank God!  I get to choose happiness!

Whew!

Some weeks are just more hectic than others…and I’m thankful for it.

Last week included replacing a hot water heater. Thanks to Hungry Hubby it was done in less than four days and cost $400 less than any estimate.  Thanking God it happened AFTER Easter dinner (literally right after dishes were done) AND that we live in a time when we have hot water coming straight to a faucet near you!

I’m finally taking a moment to review our Easter weekend in pictures.  Colored Easter eggs, chocolate covered Easter eggs and dinner with my first souffle.

      

         

 

Giving thanks every day!    

Happy Easter!

  

Have a very Happy Easter everyone!

Hit refresh on Windows if the links don’t come up at first.

photo by NAHelpingU

The Art of ABILITIES

I believe that life should be about what we CAN do.  After all not everyone can run a race much less win it.  Not everyone can focus for long periods of time to solve/work on the theories of time and space and how we can invent a worm hole.  Nor are most of us able (in my case willing) to strut themselves among the red carpet/reality crowd (ick). 

So in my corner of the world I am about what we are ABLE to do.  Figuring out the big picture for our lives, sifting in desires, gifts, love, passion, responsibility, compassion, abilities, education, understanding, desired outcome and more.  Then placing the pieces in order, minute by minute, day by day, week by week, year by year so that at some point we can see a masterpiece taking shape before us.  Our lives…what we are capable of doing throughout the course of a lifetime. 

I’m proud of both my kids.  I think they are worth every minute of thought, work, effort, joy, heartache, sweat, tears, planning, change of plans, money, time, all of it…they are worth it all.

Sometimes there are moments of unexplained, unexpected, unknown gifts displayed before me and I am in awe. This is an example of that wonder and surprise from Big Boy last year at the age of eight. 

He titled it “DRAGON”

Celebrations in order!

Not just because it is St. Paddy’s Day…but by the by, Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you!

 More importantly several things have happened of late that deem a celebration! 

Big Boy (who is autistic) has had several leaps forward in a row!

He has learned to cope with the fire alarm sound (the latest one was his 3rd without problems).  Yippee!

Last week he turned to READ MY FACE after something  I said to see if I was joking or serious.  HUGE!

He got a joke that involved a play on words!!!!! 

Lastly, he and Young Son landed a Mario and Luigi stuffed toy (with help from Hungry Hubby) in one of their favorite games, Skeeball.

GOD, thank you…. I am so truly blessed! 

Why am I tired, sleepy, depressed, not feeling well?

Forgive me, I’ve been holding this piece for longer than I should have and I know it.   I’ve been gently nudged here and there and I’ve been lax.  I PRAY this reaches the person/people it is meant for because I am well over a two months in posting it. 

First I’m going to tell you I am NOT >>>>NOT>>>>NOT a doctor or nurse. 

I AM telling from my own experience and it is so others can recognize and ASK their doctor to check for this possibility for them.

I’m not going into a lot of boring details but I do want others to be aware of things I was not.  It took me several years of prescription drugs NOT working and one simple test to find out what was REALLY wrong with me.  I don’t understand how my doctors (several) could not have given me a simple test rather than shuffling me through ALL the depression drugs.   I do believe they were trying to help me, I do believe that they get so much pushed at them and in their desire to help they look to drugs maybe a little too often. 

Maybe because I had SYMPTOMS of depression.  So if you seem to have symptoms of depression please ALSO CHECK FOR ANEMIA OR LOW IRON!  

HERE ARE THE SYMPTOMS 

Many symptoms are the same as depression.   

Other reading:

What is Anemia?

About Anemia and low iron

Consumer Reports (November 2007)  Requip is for restless legs.  But did you know that low iron can cause this????  caffeine???  alcohol????  tobacco???  cold remedies??? even pregnancy??

photo by omghawt

The Truth about Women in Despair

I’ve come across another blog via Angie’s blog  named WomanHonorThyself.  Today, she made excellent observations about how downtrodden and depressed so many women are these days.   

As it fizzled in my brain I thought and commented:

It is hard to admit that we women don’t honor ourselves.  But is it easy to see when the evidence is pointed out so clearly.

I remember a commercial that defined/predicted the onslaught of depression in women:

“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man.  Cause I’m a woman!”

This is expected of us.  Latch-key kids weren’t included in that song…who the heck is raising the kids? 

Our society has been hypnotised by commercial personas that led/lead us to believe/desire what is dangled out in front of us as the “carrot” of life.  The essense of life is to have what the commercials tell us to have because it makes everyone so happy to have it. 

We can turn just about anything from one perspective to another making it sound so terrible or so great.  But the truth is the truth. 

NO ONE… NO ONE… NO ONE has it ALL.  There are some who would argue that statement.  But deep down we all know the TRUTH. 

Invasion of the Hubby Snatchers!!!!

That is right…invasion of the Hubby Snatchers…coming to a blog near you!

I couldn’t help but snap a few pictures to document the fact that I went to sleep with one large hubby and woke up to two smaller versions this morning.

  

HOW do they do that and WHEN do they do that?  My hubby explains it as a push and shove proposition that takes place late at night after a spell has been cast over me. 

It is quite magical and fun!  I plan to cherish these moments as they go so very quickly.

And while I’m reminded through pictures,  I’m also building ammo for the terrible teens!  😉

Sweet Slumber

This is a quick video montage of cute pets and kids… ENJOY!

http://www.jibjab.com/view/72189

Dedicated to Fighting Windmills and Mercede’s World blogging buddies. 

Plowing AROUND the Stump

In 2006 we’d removed a VERY old tree in the back yard.  We wondered and wondered how we would remove the stump.  We just left it there eventually putting some potted plants on it.  Within a year it started to decay and last Fall my husband removed it completely with VERY little effort.

So when an email came to me recently (thanks Shawna) it had something about “plowing around the stump” and it really settled in with me.  I’ve always been the jump in and get it done now person.  Work before play, work hard then play hard kinda person.  Ya know the person that can’t rest until the stump is out, roots and all.

So I’m trying to adapt  this “plow around the stump” into my life a bit more.

For example, I’m getting tired of going to the Y constantly to just maintain (losing is a lost cause…for now) my weight.  Especially through the cold and muck of winter (not to mention the flu going around).   So as I’m learning to “plow around the stump” I abandoned our 1980 circa Super Nintendo, pushed my cheap, frugal self to the side and got a Wii to get us off our duffs while enjoying ourselves as a family.  I also got the exercise trampoline…FUN!

My kids are finicky eaters so I’m constantly trying to find ways to get them to eat more variety.  I’d be much happier if they would eat vegies raw or steamed but now that I’m to the point of disguising them by any means necessary.  It doesn’t always work but when it does I’m dancing on the clouds that I found another healthy dish they will eat.  Sometimes that means it comes from a frozen bag or from a can.  Cooking two times a day, seven days a week is a stump I’m more than glad to abandon and plow around!

Inside verse outside play is a stump that is difficult for me to leave alone.  Big Boy has so much anxiety about bugs that the only place he will play is open spaces with few flying insects.  Young Son is all about adventure and the outdoors.  This limits us to the yard since one is in and the other out unless I take them to the park (which I do).  I feel guilty about the days of my childhood when we roamed the wilds.  I’m sure that Mom got so many things done while we learned about freedom (to be more than a few feet from an adult), limitations (not to go too far away) and responsibility (come back at predetermined time, watch out for each other).  But in my world, this isn’t possible.  So I have to compromise, as tough as that is and think of other ways to do these things. 

Finally the stump that has been the most difficult for me.  Connecting with others.  I’m naturally a very outgoing, giving person.  I’ve connected with a few people since moving here eight plus years ago but to be honest, nothing lasting, nothing deep.  All my close friends are physically far away.  We only get to visit periodically.  I’ve been praying for a direction, to imagine how I can remove this stump.  This last weekend God revealed to me the reason why… WHY…which isn’t mine to know or question but He let me in on it all the same!  How blessed am I that I now understand why I’ve been in a type of solitary confinement (girlfriend wise).  I’ve been patient and He is showing me.  I’m so thankful.  So glad I’ve been patient (NOT EASY). 

So now I’m happily plowing around this stump knowing that it isn’t moving…but I AM!