Perspective

Young son brings me some scribbles on a notebook paper and asks if it is a masterpiece. It hurt his feelings when I said no but I quickly explained to him why it wasn’t and what a masterpiece was and then he said, “Yeah mom, but God does make masterpieces.”

Bah Hum Bird!

So let me get this straight…I have to get up at 1am Thursday morning to start the big bird, go back to bed at 2am and then wake up on the hour to baste until 5am and then start preparing 20 side dishes, 2 pies, 2 cakes…all between one oven and a small microwave, set the table to look like something from Martha Stewart’s Living, look like I stepped out of Vogue as I serve it…then do two loads in the dishwasher whilst washing all the big stuff which puts me at about 1am Friday morning and then I’m supposed to get up at 4am and stand in line to shop in over crowded stores for bargains whilst everyone else watches football games and marathon TVLand episodes????

BAH HUM BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!

What I REALLY want is my own reality show just to get this documented!

Escape and Release Your Gifts!

Please don’t be so hard on yourself, others aren’t (at least people that really matter)!

Most of us struggle with self-consciousness issues. We can’t let that stop us!

I could name several people (who aren’t so nice) that are successful and put themselves out there all the time on TV and film. And then there are really nice people who give uplifting information and try to help (aka Oprah, if that end of the spectrum helps).

Those who know us know what we look like and still like or love us for the people we ARE!

Look at everyone around you that speaks well of you. bending over backwards to do so at times.  There is a large positive ripple effect there, why not be the stone that causes the ripple.

If all anyone cared about was what a person looked like then yikes, we’d all be like Hollywood…ick…what a depressing world that would be.  Picking each other apart instead of building each other up or working together.

Focus and capitalize on your strengths and forget about (what you perceive as) weaknesses…everyone wins that way! Why? You win and the people around you win because you share with them your gifts instead of coddling them in self-consciousness.

Sending love and good thoughts, Debi

RAnDom ThOUgHt

Oh Tae…here is a thought:

 

The “ME” generation turned their kids into the “WE” socialist generation so the “ME” generation could do anything they wanted to do and then the “ME” generation would be taken care of by the “We” generation.

 

 

 

Echolalia – A mystery solved.

Echolalia

From Encarta:  the compulsive repetition of words spoken by somebody else.

From Wiki:  Immediate echolalia causes the immediate repetition of a word or phrase. In some autistic and Asperger’s cases it may be a method of buying time to help process language. In an instance a child with autism is asked, “Do you want dinner?” the child echoes back “Do you want dinner?” followed by a pause and then a response, “Yes. What’s for dinner?”

From Alex:  It helps me be calm until I think of what is next and sometimes I’m excited so I say it.

I love my Alex! He helps me understand!

Wow!

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most 
public schools anymore and because the word ‘God’ is mentioned… 
A 15 year old kid in Arizona wrote:

 

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school 
Where praying is against the rule 
For this great nation under God 
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights. 
And anytime my head I bow 
Becomes a Federal matter now. 

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, 
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene. 
The law is specific, the law is precise. 
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.  

For praying in a public hall 
Might offend someone with no faith at all 
In silence alone we must meditate, 
God’s name is prohibited by the state. 

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, 
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.. 
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. 
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, 
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King. 
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong, 
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls, 
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. 
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, 
No word of God must reach this crowd.  

It’s scary here I must confess, 
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess. 
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: 
Should I be shot; My soul please take! 
Amen

 

 

 

 

FIVE-YEAR-OLD DEMANDS TO KNOW WHO THE NEW PRESIDENT IS!

“Who is the new president?” 

“Voting is tomorrow.”

“WHO is the NEW presadent, Mom?”

“We go vote tomorrow and after that we will know.”

“When are we going to know who ‘it’ is?”

“Maybe late tomorrow evening, after you are in bed.”

“I need to know who the new president is because voting is important.”

“Yes, it is very important.  That is why Daddy and I take you with us when we go.”

“WHO IS THE NEW PRESDADENT?”

“We will know sometime on Wednesday, MAYBE.  That is all the information I can give you about when we will know who the new president will be, Young Son.”

“Well, I need to know who the new presadent is Mom.”

Ya know who this exchange reminded me of?  The media.

Good Night, Sleep Tight

And pleasant dreams to you! 

My Dad passed away last month.  Even when it is their time and they’ve lived a good, long life it still is difficult.  In more ways than I can explain.

We were a Lawrence Welk family, pizza every Saturday night with pleasant singing and dancing, nothing too risky for children; just simple melodies with great harmony.  I’ve sung this song a million times to my kids at bedtime.  Big Boy is almost ten and Young Son is five and they still love hearing it.  It is comforting, lovely and satisfying to know that someone who loves them sings this into their ears until they fall asleep. 

I’d like to dedicate this post to Dad.  I was blessed to have him in my life.  He taught me so much.  I’m so thankful he knew how much I loved him. I wonder if he knows how much I miss him.  I hope he knows that I’ll see him again.

 

Good night, sleep tight and pleasant dreams to you.

Here’s a wish and a prayer that every dream comes true.

Although it’s always sweet sorrow to part.

You know you’ll always remain in my heart.

Good night, sleep tight and pleasant dreams to you.

Here’s a wish and a prayer that every dream comes true.

And now till we meet again, adios, au revoir, auf Wiedersehen, good night.

Help for Kids

I’m all about helping kids! 

So when I saw this link on the Autism Blog I had to share it with anyone that reads here.  Helping kids cope with fears and anxiety.  Heck, I learned from it for myself in the first few forms listed on this one page.  So even if you don’t have a child with autism and they are having some issues, this will help.

Our kids are growing up with  the media blowing up everything into something to be excited or fearful over, our kids need to learn how to cope.

This is a GREAT site!

http://www.anxietybc.com/parent/complete_home_tool_kit.php

Helping Inclusion Work FOR You

I read quite a few blogs.  I am trying to listen and speak  when God leads and to this post on the Autism Blog I felt I must write this:

I’ve found that it isn’t the school district but the individual school that determines a successful outcome.  My son was in his fourth elementary school by the time he was in the last part of kindergarten (he started at age three). 

I’ve always tried to work with teachers who seemed willing but the truth always came out when they were unhappy about inclusion.  All the moving around did hurt us a bit financially but I KNOW it has served my son well.  He is now included and accepted by the staff (teachers WANT him in their class), the kids and the community.  **a tear of joy**  It also benefits by being involved with the school through activities, PTA and community/neighborhood functions. 

I feel I must speak to the confrontational method of pursuit.  Especially for those who are in smaller communities, this just IS NOT going to work and your child will suffer for it (even more than you think they already are).  So be kind, treat people as you want to be treated, try their plan first (if compromising doesn’t work) and if it doesn’t work for your child, be kind when you make strong suggestions (possibly backed by the doctor) as to what you’ve found that works for your child and ask for changes. Be involved with showing how something isn’t or is working but give issues time to resolve on their own unless immediately detrimental.  

Confrontational tactics should ALWAYS be the very last resort.  I say this because I come across so very many well meaning parents who’ve pushed and shoved (those are the kids I’ve seen suffer the most). 

By being kind, I’m always asked to be on committees, attend functions to represent special needs, etc.  You know, flies and honey…THAT is where the REAL differences are made…having input from the get go.

Early on I had one principal come out and tell me at an IEP meeting that I needed to put my son in a different school.  I thanked her, and I did, it was more than clear my son wasn’t going to get the support he needed there. I was thankful for her honesty, it was the best thing that ever happened to my son.

Thanks Mom and Dad!

http://www.dailypress.com/news/opinion/dp-ed_suntopletter_0511may11,0,7289775.story

 

 

About Humans

I don’t pretend to be a doctor or anyone who knows all about things.  I do know one thing that bothers me about some doctors who try to break us down into systems or machines.  As if that is ALL we are as humans.  As if we can eventually explain everything in the human body (or the universe) in the same terms as a machine or a systematic number equation to the finite. 

When we decide to think that we know everything about how the brain, chemicals, genes, etc. relate to one another I wonder what we will use as the “model” machine?  And exactly which mechanic will you trust to give you a tune up?  What constitutes the tune up?  Maybe the sci-fi movies aren’t so far from reality if doctors think they really know it already.  We need the differences that we’ve developed. 

Don’t we NEED differences so that the things I’m not good at doing, someone else can do and vice versa. 

This is one small reason why I struggle about telling our story.  I really don’t see us as any different than any one else in life.  I love my son just as he is, I see my job as helping him to learn coping skills as opposed to changing him or his wonderful mind.  Most of the time my son is one of the happiest kids I’ve had the pleasure to be around.  

I’d written the previous before today (5-6-8).  I’m having difficulty sharing which is completely foreign to me.  But today I was blessed with a beautiful sight.  I had to share. 

As I walked to the school to register my son I saw five smiling, flapping boys come out of the building, one skipped, two others were talking in excited tones, one making happy sounds, another running toward the field.  I saw a tall slender man walking quickly behind them.  I smiled.  I smiled wide and long and looked at them; feeling their happiness, feeling their freedom,  feeling their joy at experiencing the day and a break from school work.  I thought of the teacher, the joy this can bring him too or the concern it could give as to later in the day lessons.  How blessed is this world for ALL these humans?  How blessed that they get to know the joy of the day?  How blessed I was to get to experience this joy from afar but with them? 

Thank God for the students, thank God for the teacher, thank God for the day, thank God for humans. 

Like Humans Do by David Byrne:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzmZXYKmTt0&feature=related

  

Living with a Difference – Sequence I

I invite you to read about our journey and learning experiences in hopes that it will help you or loved ones find themselves in similar situations.  I hope and pray that you find comfort, peace and the positive aspects that Living with a Difference intends.  I hope you I can tickle your funny bone along the way too!

I’ll be making the individual posts and then copy them here for the sake of continuity. 

Posting this for our love of God, standing in faith, praying this reaches those that need and seek His love and peace.

*******************************************

Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin, so why not begin with the beginning! 

 

The cast of characters:  My husband is Hungry Hubby, Big Boy is my oldest son, Young Son is yep and me, I’m Wailing Woman.  For more on how these names came about, click here.

 

 

LIVING WITH A DIFFERENCE – PEEING ON A STICK!

 

Peeing on a stick, how complicated could that be?  Well for one, I can’t quite pee the way the stick chick in the illustration does it.  Her stream looks to be one foot long and steady as she goes… mine…not so much.  

 

I first try my normal position with my legs at the ten and two position but that produces a shower.  So I rise to my gas station commando stance but I’ve already relieved too much and I’m chasing the small bursts with the stick until it seems completely wet.  Well that experience sure didn’t seem to be clear, it wasn’t blue nor was it easy. 

 

What?  Negative.  No, I just knew I was pregnant.  I felt it.  So I got a cup and peed into it (much easier for me) and dipped the second stick (the double pack was on sale).   J  Apparently the first stick didn’t get soaked with the hormone because this time it was CLEAR…I was pregnant!!!!!!

 

Hungry Husband and I can’t keep secrets very well.  Especially when the news is good so we drove to my parent’s house and then to his mom’s house spreading the glorious news.  After two years of trying we were going to have our first child. 

 

I felt pretty healthy during my pregnancy.  We got up nearly every week day and walked one to three miles before work.  I had quit smoking and popped the prenatals.  We continued to compete in CW dance competitions until I was at the fifth month.  At 39, I still felt WAS young even though I was officially in the “at risk” zone of having a child.  I enjoyed the pregnancy and marveled how my body changed.  The doctor gave me a leave of absence five weeks before my due date because of swelling but apparently I didn’t have preeclampsia. 

 

Fast forward two weeks, my water breaks, emergency C section because he was big and breach.  “I see a boy butt,” the nurse exclaimed.  We were elated!  We missed the low Apgar numbers being tossed across the room.  But the numbers were always going up and eventually everyone was happy.   He peed on one nurse and she jokingly lamented about being peed on.  She even wrote about it on the Apgar card (a souvenir).  Aren’t we the lucky ones, to know he took his first whiz at 11:04 pm on his birthday!?!?!  Now HE would be showing ME how to pee in a stream and hit the target!

 

THANKS and by the way…

First, thanks to all of you who’ve been keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  I really feel them in my heart and soul.  THANK YOU for them.  I really do sit in thoughtful prayer for you as well.  I’m a big giver so when I receive I tend to give back even more.  Your continued thoughts and prayers of support are very appreciated.  As we know more of the details I’ll share them.  Right now we are in a holding pattern but circling the airport.  ha!

I have several things that are pressing, several things that must come out, I’m compelled.

I’ve done a dozen or so posts on autism.  I think highly of so many bloggers who are autistic or parents of autistic children.  I respect them, their view of things, their frustration of things, their joy of things, their need to help others understand, agree, being able to learn and grow.  Just knowing how nice it is to reach out to each other when needed is a wonderful thing. 

In this age of “bi-polar-isms” I refuse to define my precious, sweet son by autism, nor will I.  He is smart, loving, handsome like his dad (of course), very tall, a reader, into astrology, a thinker, a dreamer, he hums happy tunes, still likes to skip (me too…like Phoebe from friends), likes routine (like his dad), sounds just like his brother (vice-versa) when he talks, has an amazing memory, adores his third grade teacher, can easily entertain himself, becomes deeply involved with things he enjoys, can’t concentrate on things he doesn’t and more, more, more.

So what am I getting at???  I’ve been holding my son’s story close (odd because I share so easily) but I’m nervous it will define him.  Or WORSE, that HE thinks that is how I define HIM.

God has been pushing gently at me from many directions and I had my AHA moment this morning, NO FEAR.  I now know I’m to post it, I’m compelled to post it.  In faith I will post it and pray that it reaches those that it is supposed to reach and help.  In faith I will post it believing that my son will KNOW that autism is only a small sliver of who he is, something to help him in his life’s journey and that I love him more than words.  Amen.  Thank you God for love, mercy, all things seen and unseen.

 

The Age of Autism

 

Nicole Beurkens the Director of Horizons Developmental Remediation Center in Michigan asked me to mention that during the month of April for every new person who signs up for a free newsletter at www.horizonsautism.com  her clinic will make a donation to a scholarship fund for parents who require financial assistance to access treatment. 

I do this as an informational service and to be helpful, not as a recommendation.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND any individual treatment, place, etc.  I do have links to a variety of autism websites for informational purposes. 

I think each child and family are unique and could benefit from any number of people, places and programs. 

I recommend:

     education, read as much as you can as quickly as you can about similar situations.

     early intervention if possible but it is NEVER too late!

     deep breathing, for you, your child, your family, it helps!

     at least a consultation with a neurodevelopmentalist.

     one way all the way isn’t necessarily THE way, try lots of things to see what works for YOU!

     read, reach out to others, use their experience to help yourself and your family (use ME)! 

This is by far my favorite definition of autism because I find it the truth.

Always

Unique

Totally

Interesting

Sometimes

Mysterious 

 Above all, love is love is love.  Everyone has difficulties in life we can rejoice about them and how we are different or lament about it.  I ALWAYS choose to rejoice because I’m never bored, there is always something to do or learn.  Thank God!  I get to choose happiness!

Whew!

Some weeks are just more hectic than others…and I’m thankful for it.

Last week included replacing a hot water heater. Thanks to Hungry Hubby it was done in less than four days and cost $400 less than any estimate.  Thanking God it happened AFTER Easter dinner (literally right after dishes were done) AND that we live in a time when we have hot water coming straight to a faucet near you!

I’m finally taking a moment to review our Easter weekend in pictures.  Colored Easter eggs, chocolate covered Easter eggs and dinner with my first souffle.

      

         

 

Giving thanks every day!    

Happy Easter!

  

Have a very Happy Easter everyone!

Hit refresh on Windows if the links don’t come up at first.

photo by NAHelpingU

The Art of ABILITIES

I believe that life should be about what we CAN do.  After all not everyone can run a race much less win it.  Not everyone can focus for long periods of time to solve/work on the theories of time and space and how we can invent a worm hole.  Nor are most of us able (in my case willing) to strut themselves among the red carpet/reality crowd (ick). 

So in my corner of the world I am about what we are ABLE to do.  Figuring out the big picture for our lives, sifting in desires, gifts, love, passion, responsibility, compassion, abilities, education, understanding, desired outcome and more.  Then placing the pieces in order, minute by minute, day by day, week by week, year by year so that at some point we can see a masterpiece taking shape before us.  Our lives…what we are capable of doing throughout the course of a lifetime. 

I’m proud of both my kids.  I think they are worth every minute of thought, work, effort, joy, heartache, sweat, tears, planning, change of plans, money, time, all of it…they are worth it all.

Sometimes there are moments of unexplained, unexpected, unknown gifts displayed before me and I am in awe. This is an example of that wonder and surprise from Big Boy last year at the age of eight. 

He titled it “DRAGON”

Celebrations in order!

Not just because it is St. Paddy’s Day…but by the by, Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you!

 More importantly several things have happened of late that deem a celebration! 

Big Boy (who is autistic) has had several leaps forward in a row!

He has learned to cope with the fire alarm sound (the latest one was his 3rd without problems).  Yippee!

Last week he turned to READ MY FACE after something  I said to see if I was joking or serious.  HUGE!

He got a joke that involved a play on words!!!!! 

Lastly, he and Young Son landed a Mario and Luigi stuffed toy (with help from Hungry Hubby) in one of their favorite games, Skeeball.

GOD, thank you…. I am so truly blessed! 

The Truth about Women in Despair

I’ve come across another blog via Angie’s blog  named WomanHonorThyself.  Today, she made excellent observations about how downtrodden and depressed so many women are these days.   

As it fizzled in my brain I thought and commented:

It is hard to admit that we women don’t honor ourselves.  But is it easy to see when the evidence is pointed out so clearly.

I remember a commercial that defined/predicted the onslaught of depression in women:

“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man.  Cause I’m a woman!”

This is expected of us.  Latch-key kids weren’t included in that song…who the heck is raising the kids? 

Our society has been hypnotised by commercial personas that led/lead us to believe/desire what is dangled out in front of us as the “carrot” of life.  The essense of life is to have what the commercials tell us to have because it makes everyone so happy to have it. 

We can turn just about anything from one perspective to another making it sound so terrible or so great.  But the truth is the truth. 

NO ONE… NO ONE… NO ONE has it ALL.  There are some who would argue that statement.  But deep down we all know the TRUTH.