I Can Change Myself…REALLY!

I’m of a mind that nothing stands between me and what I want except for the fear it may not work or change things so drastically that I’ll be “sorry”…so I decided to change my perception.  I realized that the experience of trying and dealing with anything that could happen sure beats the feeling of never going for it and wishing that I did.  So now when I feel less than worthy, feel nervous, feel unsure, I transmute that energy and thinking to…What can I do to make this an opportunity for something I REALLY want!    This has gotten me through many things that I (and others) have perceived as devastating or situations that were hurtful at the time.  Another thing, for me that is important, is to give myself time to process these devastating, hurtful, unexpected changes (which come to everyone).  I changed myself and perceive the best outcome for everyone (myself included), this has never let me down.

Hope that makes sense and that in some way it can help you too!

I AM

I AM AS I UNDERSTAND.

Competition – How to know

Competition is competing against oneself whether the ego will let self see it or not…therefore, bad sportsmanship exemplifies the ego against itself and all its faults…good sportsmanship accepts that for today the best was the best….center reflects enjoyment/thankfulness of the competition for all that it is.

Coincidence or Divine?

If I hear the same things I’m thinking/pondering echo back to me through other people, dreams and current situations … coincidence or divine?

Happy Independence Day – Let Freedom Ring!

Would you please tell us something about you and your site?

My site is The Canvas Grey. (www.thecanvasgrey.wordpress.com) The name was inspired by a dream.  I believe I was healed by God and wanted to let as many people know for His Glory.  It is difficult to imagine that I could ever, ever talk about it enough or be thankful enough.  So I blog about my experiences, both success and failure, to help others who may find themselves needing more information, guidance or just a laugh.   

God is so great, so much more than we can understand.  I believe He is more than any religion or book and He can speak to each of us as individuals in ways that are completely unique to each of us.  His Greatness cannot be hidden or bound.

Do you feel that you continue to grow in your writing the longer you write? Why is that important to you?
I haven’t thought much about whether I’ve grown as a writer or that it was important to me.  I mostly feel compelled to write about something and then set about doing it.  There is no doubt that some of my posts are inspired and they are easy to see; my journey of learning, plowing around the stump for examples.  I’m a deep thinker and when God gives me insight I want to share that for others to let God work through it if He desires to do so.

I’m wondering what some of your memorable experiences are with blogging?
My memorable experiences are all about the inspiration and compelled writing plus the interaction with others.

What do you think is the most exciting or most innovative use of technology in politics right now?
Using the internet to get passed the two minute sound bites that the main media WANT us to see or hear.  I want to know in-depth information about past, present and plans for the future on all the political players.  I think the internet should remain uncensored and ungoverned to allow real freedom of speech and exchange of ideas.

Do you think that these new technologies are effective in making people more responsive?
I think more people feel free to express themselves and have a place to say what they want and exchange ideas, thoughts, experiences, etc.  I think more than that the internet provides a platform for anyone who can get to the internet to tell their story or a story they believe is important AND to tell it without edit or censorship.

What do you think sets Your site apart from others?
I am a unique individual that has much in common with other unique individuals.

If you could choose one characteristic you have that brought you success in life, what would it be?
Believing the best of intentions from others and yourself.

What was the happiest and gloomiest moment of your life?
I speak of this in my Journey of Learning at my blog as they are both on the day I was healed.

Do you think [the use of Twitter and other social networking tools by politicians] is bandwagon jumping or what?
I have to say a direct YES to this question.  Unfortunately politicians seem to be nothing more than advertisers trying to grasp at every last pair of eyes and ears no matter what it takes or what avenue pop culture would have them travel.  That does NOT speak to me as “being a leader” but more as a follower of trends. 

If you could pick a travel destination, anywhere in the world, with no worries about how it’s paid for – what would your top 3 choices be?
Alaska, South America, Europe and the rest of the world, then the moon, planets, other galaxies and beyond.

What is your favorite book and why?
There is no way I could ever pick a favorite book or favorite anything.  How could I pick just one of anything when God has made/inspired so much.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person (whether you know them or not)?
Their expression.

Is there anyone from your past that once told you you couldn’t write?
No.  I was told at a young age by a teacher that I wasn’t an artist.  But she was wrong.

How bloggers can benefit from blogs financially?
I think others could answer this much better than I.

Is it true that who has a successful blog has an awful lot of time on their hands?
If research is required or one keeps up a post a day (or more) then blogging can become time consuming.  I imagine the most successful blogs (that are more than pictures) are very time consuming as they must keep readers coming back AND attracting new readers.

What are your thoughts on corporate blogs and what do you think the biggest advantages and disadvantages are?
It would depend upon the size but by far the biggest advantages for corporate blogs would be communications…easy, fast, far reaching; the disadvantage would be cumbersome, too many responses or ideas or the need to dedicate one person to the blog.

What role can bloggers of the world play to make this world more friendlier and less hostile?
Communicating with each other expecting, projecting the best intentions.  I think we as human beings will find that no matter what part of the world we live in the we are more alike than different; to make a way in this world for our family and friends to be together and rejoice in our love for one another and God.  We share a marvelous place in the universe and it is a privilege to share it together.

Who are your top five favourite bloggers?
I really don’t mean to be obnoxious I just can’t pick favorites.  There are just too many favorites to list in just five. 

Is there one observation or column or post that has gotten the most powerful reaction from people?
There are several but if you are interested to know which is the most read it would be about my experience in a multi-level-marketing company.  Closely followed by my experience discovering that depression and low iron (anemia) have very similar symptoms.

What is your perception about Pakistan and its people?
I have a perception of the country and then my experience of the people here in the United States.  Since most of the perceptions are via people who have agendas (the media, the politicians, etc.) I base my facts on my own interactions.  I must say that I’ve found people of/from Pakistan to be more like me than different.  I also must tell you that one of my doctors is from Pakistan.  He is a doctor who I can say truly listens to me, treats me with great kindness and respect.  I pray for him to be happy as he is truly a great man in my eyes.

Have you ever become stunned by the uniqueness of any blogger?
Twice I could use the word stunned to describe my reaction to reading a blog and been interested reading/trying to understand them/their writings more in depth.  Disgusted is a word I’ve experienced more often than stunned.  BY FAR I’ve had completely positive experiences in blogging and reading other blogs.

What is the most striking difference between a developed country and a developing country?
The amount of food, clothing, shelter and ways to make a life for a family.

What is the future of blogging?
My guess is it will stay the same for quite some time.

You have also got a blogging life, how has it directly affected both your personal and professional life?
There have been positive; expression, helping others, learning new things, connecting with others AND negative; some time away from family and other projects yet who doesn’t need a break every now and again?  🙂  Mostly I see the good of it when balanced.

What are your future plans?
To continue to seek what God has for me and my family because I know it is beyond my dreams, as He shows me consistently.  I plan to write more about that and to create a history of thought and pictures and understanding within my family, friends and others who touch my life as I touch their life.

Any Message you want to give to the readers of The Pakistani Spectator?
I can only see good from reaching out to one another in peace, understanding and our common bonds as people who are blessed to share the earth at the same time.  I believe that different cultures and diversity is a great thing in life.  We can  throw off hatred, apathy and indifference to enjoy one another.  Peace and happiness to you as you read.

A Proposal

Let’s do away with the phrase:

GO F* Yourself

And all it’s glorious versions.

I propose we say:

Go Fulfill Yourself!

It sounds much nicer and is really much tougher to do.

😉

Shh

Perspective

Young son brings me some scribbles on a notebook paper and asks if it is a masterpiece. It hurt his feelings when I said no but I quickly explained to him why it wasn’t and what a masterpiece was and then he said, “Yeah mom, but God does make masterpieces.”

The Grand Scheme of Things

Oh Mother of God! Oops…will I get in trouble for that funny???? Did God make humor? The details of it all, the fighting over the details. Find it funny…laugh, find it offensive… move on. There is a HUGE space out there and NO ONE can wrap their head around it all. Take the good where you get it and be happy. Take that good and help OTHERS be happy (WIN-WIN). Are there books that are inspired by God, yes…every word…doubtful. Religion is inspired by God and man handled. This too is one opinion, from one unique individual to other unique individuals with much in common. Peace!

Ringin IN 2010!

I’m looking forward to a great 2010! 

I’ve heard that from nearly everyone I’ve gotten email from, talked to and seen on FB.  The excitement in the air about 2010 is palpable. 

I can’t remember when …well, yes I can, I think many people were so worried about Y2K and working their butts off in 1999 to prevent “the unspeakable horrors” the clock turning to 2000 could bring that everyone was looking forward to the “end” of what nightmares COULD happen. 

Maybe that was the start of all this doom and end of the world talk that seems to dominate everything these days.  It is (of course) at the movies, in the news, on all my favorite channels, History, Discovery, Science; whether they are talking about Nostradamus, the Holy Bible, the Mayan calendar or other forseers they want to use to prove the “disaster looming” point. 

The positive lesson to take from all this is … MAYBE…  all we have is today.

Today is the PRESENT so maybe we should treat it like a GIFT and ENJOY!

Walking with God…He teaches me to…

Spend time in love!
Walk in GRACE!
Lead with compassion!
Follow with humility!

When Weary

A recent, follow-up colonoscopy and more surgery by the same doctor that found the bone tumor two years ago (see Journey of Learning first tab) reveals need for another surgery. This time a wonderful surgeon I met with here locally will be removing 3 to 5 inches of small intestine and 1/3 of my large intestine along with surround lymph nodes. Things will still work the same, I’ll just be a little lighter; this is a bad way to lose weight! Ha!

A dear friend of mine has been through quite a lot herself and she sent me an email about being weary. I’ve included an excerpt from the email because I believe it was inspired by God for comfort for anyone who reads it. Because I do feel a little weary; then I remember that we all have our life journey, we all have a different and deeply personal experience with God. It is our choice, complete freedom of choice and if that doesn’t speak volumes about our God then I couldn’t imagine what would, He loves us that much.

May God’s will be done! Excerpt:

I know what you mean about becoming weary and this is when we will lean on God because He is our true strength. God can perform miracles when we let go and let God. I know that no matter what happens we can overcome it to His Glory and for His purpose. I’m not afraid but I’m not ready to part this place just yet. I still believe there is great work to be done by you and me and others like us. We are in the world but not of it. That can be so very hard. It can be burdensome to be strong all the time. Even Jesus felt the burden and didn’t understand. We are human and don’t understand it all but we do know the wonder of God…how awesome is that? How awesome to KNOW GOD!!!! WOW! Getting tears in my eyes, if we even thought about it very long we would be on our faces night and day in awe and praise. We could be that humble about it all but we are so blessed to be able to live and walk in Him. So that His work can be done as He calls us to do it.

I’m just glad He calls me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Escape and Release Your Gifts!

Please don’t be so hard on yourself, others aren’t (at least people that really matter)!

Most of us struggle with self-consciousness issues. We can’t let that stop us!

I could name several people (who aren’t so nice) that are successful and put themselves out there all the time on TV and film. And then there are really nice people who give uplifting information and try to help (aka Oprah, if that end of the spectrum helps).

Those who know us know what we look like and still like or love us for the people we ARE!

Look at everyone around you that speaks well of you. bending over backwards to do so at times.  There is a large positive ripple effect there, why not be the stone that causes the ripple.

If all anyone cared about was what a person looked like then yikes, we’d all be like Hollywood…ick…what a depressing world that would be.  Picking each other apart instead of building each other up or working together.

Focus and capitalize on your strengths and forget about (what you perceive as) weaknesses…everyone wins that way! Why? You win and the people around you win because you share with them your gifts instead of coddling them in self-consciousness.

Sending love and good thoughts, Debi

For Terror or Worse…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blBohrmyo-I

I don’t mind someone running my name through a computer to see if I’m a terrorist…a murderer… or anything else illegal…unless…it is illegal to speak out about something…long pause

But after reports that Google and many other search engines keep all data and searches… Facebook wanting to keep all my information even if I delete my stuff…Facebook actually deleting an unfavorable comment I made last week….finding those New World Order videos just the other day (out of the blue…NOT looking for them), the constant yakity yak about globalization and now a benign referral to this video…it really makes one pause and wonder…

WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE HEADED?

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE tech!  I think this is remarkable technology and can be used to all kinds of good.  If only we could trust one another, ah yes, the ever elusive Utopia.

Databases…data being held about you from the time of your birth, where you are, etc. have been in existence for a long time…HOWEVER…it is getting easier, more people are selling their “proverbial souls” for the love and greed of money or power… AND (it is a big and too) “we the people” are sleeping…soundly, passively in our peaceful little worlds…it has happened before… more than once… recently… I pray it doesn’t happen again.  Then I realize I live in reality.

I’m truly not trying to be a fear-monger, the media does that well enough.  However, it isn’t like I’m out there looking for this stuff.   It comes to me, I share what I believe I’m to share.  Peace, love and joy to you.

Grief in the words of Dr. Suess…

Dad.

Had.

Sad.

Bad.

Mad.

Glad?

Wow!

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most 
public schools anymore and because the word ‘God’ is mentioned… 
A 15 year old kid in Arizona wrote:

 

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school 
Where praying is against the rule 
For this great nation under God 
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights. 
And anytime my head I bow 
Becomes a Federal matter now. 

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, 
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene. 
The law is specific, the law is precise. 
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.  

For praying in a public hall 
Might offend someone with no faith at all 
In silence alone we must meditate, 
God’s name is prohibited by the state. 

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, 
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.. 
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. 
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, 
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King. 
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong, 
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls, 
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. 
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, 
No word of God must reach this crowd.  

It’s scary here I must confess, 
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess. 
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: 
Should I be shot; My soul please take! 
Amen

 

 

 

 

Dreams

I wanted to tell you about the dream I had about Dad last night.

 

We were at the funeral home.  I had gone to an upstairs closet or bathroom that lead to another room that went higher and then to a sun filled place.  Kim was there with me and Dad walked in, he was so young and he looked so wonderful, probably around 35 or 40ish.  The funeral director came to the door.   Dad stood there for a minute and smiled and then went into the room and walked toward the other room that went a little higher and then into the sunlight he went.  I turned to Kim and said, “Didn’t he look so great and young?”  Kim said, “No, Deb I could only see him as an older man.”  I turned to the funeral director and he nodded.  I went down stairs to where the coffin was and Mom was standing alone in front of it.  And at the last minute all of Mom’s siblings came in walking in a straight line, arm in arm, all dressed in black and surrounded her in a circle. (kind of a representation of her family gathering around her).

 

All in all it was a good dream.  I miss him.

Lessons in Life by Regina Brett

A very dear person sent this to me and I HAD to share!

For over 7 years, Regina Brett was a columnist at The Beacon
Journal in Akron, Ohio. During that time, she was diagnosed
and successfully treated for breast cancer. Regina is now a
columnist for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio. Her
column runs on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.

Lessons in Life By Regina Brett:

‘To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life
taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.
My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here’s an update:’

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the
present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’ You have no idea
what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t
worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or
get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the
second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
lingerie . Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is
special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In
five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of
anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly…
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.
It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

And thanks to Bev is who sends me the best dancing videos:

Can you dance like a first grader?  This will make you cheer!  She’s just soo cute!

Helping Inclusion Work FOR You

I read quite a few blogs.  I am trying to listen and speak  when God leads and to this post on the Autism Blog I felt I must write this:

I’ve found that it isn’t the school district but the individual school that determines a successful outcome.  My son was in his fourth elementary school by the time he was in the last part of kindergarten (he started at age three). 

I’ve always tried to work with teachers who seemed willing but the truth always came out when they were unhappy about inclusion.  All the moving around did hurt us a bit financially but I KNOW it has served my son well.  He is now included and accepted by the staff (teachers WANT him in their class), the kids and the community.  **a tear of joy**  It also benefits by being involved with the school through activities, PTA and community/neighborhood functions. 

I feel I must speak to the confrontational method of pursuit.  Especially for those who are in smaller communities, this just IS NOT going to work and your child will suffer for it (even more than you think they already are).  So be kind, treat people as you want to be treated, try their plan first (if compromising doesn’t work) and if it doesn’t work for your child, be kind when you make strong suggestions (possibly backed by the doctor) as to what you’ve found that works for your child and ask for changes. Be involved with showing how something isn’t or is working but give issues time to resolve on their own unless immediately detrimental.  

Confrontational tactics should ALWAYS be the very last resort.  I say this because I come across so very many well meaning parents who’ve pushed and shoved (those are the kids I’ve seen suffer the most). 

By being kind, I’m always asked to be on committees, attend functions to represent special needs, etc.  You know, flies and honey…THAT is where the REAL differences are made…having input from the get go.

Early on I had one principal come out and tell me at an IEP meeting that I needed to put my son in a different school.  I thanked her, and I did, it was more than clear my son wasn’t going to get the support he needed there. I was thankful for her honesty, it was the best thing that ever happened to my son.

Waves

What washes against your shore?

We send out waves every day, we also get hit by waves every day.

If money is stolen from a bank (doesn’t have to be a bank, it can be any large “this isn’t going to hurt anyone” place) and then the person who stole it buys some clothes for their family.  One wave washes over the owner of the clothing store in a positive way and then that money is used as it goes through a regular cycle of spending, investment, etc.  But what about the wave that is sent from stealing the money where does it go and what shore does it land on?

 

Instincts

 

AND NOW…FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

It puzzles me that so many great minds of the last century (and many now) think we can decode the cosmos and laws of nature.  They seem to think, if it can’t be defined by physics or the “sciences” then by jingies it just CAN’T be.  NOOOO, we sure can’t disect those touchie, feelie things.  We’ve got to hold those things back with a ten foot pole because that can’t possibly be where our evolution is taking us. 

***LONG PAUSE***  😉

Such smart, unopened minds that won’t allow room for God, spirit or being “in tune” with one another…call me a flake, I think they aren’t as smart as they think they are!  We are connected by God, instincts, our souls, mystical awareness or what ever one would call it.  I believe it is real and can be found by anyone seeking to connect.  After all we still except the deep rooted, “fight or flight” instinct, few would dispute we have survival instincts, however many doubt and nullify our spirit, unconditional love, telepathy or psychic ability altogether.  

It is as if we all must first experience something to believe or fully understand. 

Learning to have faith, learning to trust God and our “instincts” and the patience to withstand the wait of when we get to know the answers takes real faith.  To me, real faith means doing something that you believe God wants you to do or you are supposed to do even when you are scared, tired, lazy, depressed, lack funds, are doubtful,  are distracted, afraid it looks/sounds strange to others, worried about how others judge you, when it is difficult.

*******************************

Hope you all know I write these for myself, sorry to be so selfish but I’m sharing hoping it will help you.  Many times this is how God “talks” to me.  Even if I can’t understand it right now, maybe I will when He needs me to do so. 

Note to blogger buddies:  I ask you to say a prayer for my Dad.  I know you will so thanks.   Several things are pressing down hard and my time is little of late.  I’ll check in as I can with you all and hope to be back to finish our Difference story soon.  Peace and love from me to you, Debi

 

photo by bonnieanddan